Thinking

 I was thinking about you… 

Thinking about the beginning at the end 

Wondering if I will ever share this with you

Of how sick I’ve been of you and your endless anxiety! 

I hate that I say your cursed words now and 

How did I even inherit your anxiety 

It feels like any deliberate attempt to forget you become vain

Cause why is “iMessages trending on Twitter this morning.

Why is the bolt driver singing the same song you sing to me.

My thoughts are haphazard 

Thinking about if I should name this

 “ revenge: see how e dey pain too”

A millennial should be more creative with its revenge strategy for fucks sake…

Because I’ve thought of you in eternal ways. I've thought of crying with you in court, of visiting and picking you up from jail

Picking you up after gambling deals fails, more still driving the van with a load full of cannabis’ 

Probably something you must have picked up along the line 

I’m thinking of you in absurd ways that I shouldn’t! 

Sometimes I feel like rubbing your balls till it gets emotional enough to bring out babies 

Of kissing you till my mouth runs out of breath and brings out blood 

Of bending down like a sheep to have you whimper how gracious my juices are 

I wish I can call you again to rant endlessly. 

Tell you about the mechanic, the prayerful Neighbor, the endearing gateman, the cute personal assistant, and the love I’ve found in many others that reminds me a Lil bit of you

Thinking about how comforting it will feel if you could look me up on Instagram. 

If you could take my pictures and get the angles right 

Watch me twerk to get the TikTok moves. 

I’m thinking about why you had to travel, why you had to write the exams, why there aren’t interstate planes all over Nigeria, why the driver was in a hurry, why the other driver was in a hurry, why you didn’t drop before it happened, why you didn’t fight to stay alive 

Even if it’s just for me!!

Wondering what it will feel like to see you again!!